Saturday, March 6, 2010
Lesson 12: Believe in Miracles
Unlike the “real world”, (which I wish everyone would shut up about already), miracles CAN happen to Ms. Pacman. Picture this, hotshot: You’re hauling ass and chowing dots through board six like nobody’s business when suddenly you notice an irresistible savory pear dancing around the maze. You decide that it’s dangerous but worth the risk*, only to find yourself in a no-win situation. Every direction leads to certain death. (More on coping with death later.) Then, just as you accept your fate you miraculously travel through the ghost and live to tell the tale. This is extremely rare but it does happen so you damn well better be prepared for it. Do not panic. Yes, it defies every natural law that has ever been established in Pacland and the implications reach far beyond what our brains are capable of grasping. But you mustn't squander a rare second chance. (This happened to Matt once; his eyes bulged out of his head and he shouted “DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!?” moments before getting stuffed by a follow-up ghost. Don’t be like Matt.) The mature way to handle the situation is to casually nod your head and imply that it was all a part of your master plan.
If you play it off right you may or may not score a hot date.
*There’s a Ratt song called Dangerous But Worth the Risk. It’s okay.